Response: Send More Paramedics
That’s what one of the zombies requests over the radio in the ambulance in “Return of the Living Dead” when he and his dinner guests have finished noshing on the brains of the first rescue vehicle-full of yummy paramedics. Send more.
Like students to American public schools, send me more brains to be devoured. Give me your youthful, your lads, your impressionable lasses yearning to be Paris Hilton, or some other wretched excess, some teeny bore.
Surely you don’t really want to become a zombie. Zombies are what the people around you at these functions already are. Of course those high school grads shuffle across the stage to claim their diplomas. How else can they walk? They’ve been in training for 12 years to become good little consumers-occasional voters-workplace drones, just like everyone else. It’s ironic that zombies eat brains since that is the one organ we’re not taught to use when in school and can easily live without after graduation.
To use another movie plot point, society congratulates anyone who becomes a pod person, welcoming him or her to the fold. (I can mix metaphors all day.)
So my praise goes out to those who can get through the system without becoming zombies, the ones who know the rules (“get born, keep warm, short pants, romance, learn to dance, get dressed, get blessed, try to be a suck cess”) but whose parents encourage them to side step them.
Don’t send more paramedics, who are just fodder for zombiedom. Anything but that.
Labels: conformity, public schools, Zombies
posted by Anonymous @ 2:18 PM,
