Response: You're relegated!
Driving home a couple days ago with NPR on the radio, I heard a segment about Taylor Hicks of American Idol fame. Swear to God, if anything deserves relegation to the netherworld, it is that obnoxious tv show. Why, I ask you, why is this thing still on? I've only watched an episode here and there, and only in its first season. What killed the thrill for me was the abject misery of those rejected with a wave of the hand and a verbal kick in the pants. Sure, the contestants willingly offer themselves as up sacrifices to the biting criticism of Simon Cowell et al., and perhaps there are some who do compete as a joke, but mostly it's just cruel. Like lambs to the slaughter, contestants bound up on stage, belt out their song, and prepare for swift judgement. With every bitter word, the light dies in their eyes. They shuffle off-stage and collapse into the arms of a loved one, sobbing uncontrollably. "I still think I have talent," I heard one sniffle, wrapped in the comfortable embrace of denial. Are Americans this desperate to see their fellows humiliated? Ratchet the suffering up a couple of notches, and we're back to public hangings as entertainment. I know it's "cool" to relish this kind of humiliation, but am I the only one swimming against the tide of television popularity when I say I really want this show to die, die, die!
Ahem.
Wikipedia has left the corn crib like a rabid Labrador that menaces your wife, children, and farm animals. Time to take Old Yeller out to the cornfield and put him down. Personally, I enjoy browsing through the different entries, but what I don't like about Wikipedia is the way many people view it as the definitive source for information. That's just plain lazy, folks! It's a good way to start off when doing a little research, but for heaven's sake, don't stop there! Drag your fat ass up to the public library, crack open a volume of World Book Encyclopedia, or better yet, ask the librarian to help you find something that discusses the topic in comprehensive detail. Don't get mired in wikiality. I hate to be the one to tell you, but sometimes the information is incorrect. Sometimes, it's even been hacked.
Lastly, I'll add dysfunctional family to the list. It's been a watershed year for dysfunction in AQ's family. We've had it all: drug addiction, jail time, spousal abuse, pregnancy, depression. There are days when I don't answer the phone, just let the messages pile up and delete them when the machine is too full. Is it too much to ask that we be left out of the drama? Maybe I'm delusional, but I believe the worst that can be said about me is my obsessive gardening habits and compulsive need to read. My husband? He collects science fiction novels. The boys? They study EPL soccer stats. We're weird, but dysfunctional? I don't think so.
How can one who feels such sympathy for American Idol rejects be so cold-hearted to members of her own clan? Walk a mile in my shoes, that's all I ask of you, before you pass judgement. You might find yourself lacing up a pair of Adidas and sprinting for the nearest exit at our next family get-together.
All right, Saint. Wow me with your list of demotees.
Labels: American Idol, dysfunctional family, Wikipedia
posted by Adjective Queen @ 8:01 AM,
